My spouse is a reluctant MAP...

[PinkPawn]

Forum rules prevent me from going into details, but I was able to learn beyond any doubt that my wife thinks kids can be sexually attractive and active.

We have some VERY hot roleplay and fantasies during sexy time, but that's the only time this topic comes up. We've had some limited discussion and she's very into the tabooness of it. Other than that, she's clearly uncomfortable with admitting it to herself, only indulging once she's already turned on.

Last summer, we were traveling and drinking a lot, and she really allowed herself to get depraved with me for a couple of weeks. However, that led to her being wracked with shame and fear. (We both work with and for young people)

I can understand her mindset. I had a difficult time admitting it to myself and also put it off limits for many years. When I finally allowed myself to indulge in it, I had a LOT of conflicting emotions and thoughts, and felt very alienated from friends and society. Eventually, I learned to accept it and move forward, conpartmentalizing real life and fantasy for my own safety.

I'm very lucky that I can share this side of my life with her. Many people will never reach this level of openness with anybody, but I worry about her emotional health. I don't feel like I can really bring up the topic, nor can I safely point her to sites like this because she is not very savvy with a computer. I can't trust her opsec. I wish that I could point her here and some other sites and let her explore and discover on her own