I’m not a MAP, I’m an AAM

[CloudyNights]

I don’t know if I’m even allowed to be here but I’m looking anywhere to reach out to people that might understand me.

I’m a 15yo gay boy. I’ve been attracted to adults of all ages for the longest time and didn’t understand why or what kinda person that makes me. My friends would call me a “reverse pedophile” because of my attraction to adults, specifically older ones. Over time, i feel the reason I’m attacked to older men is because of some daddy issues I think I have.

However, my daddy issues are not the reason I’m here. I’m here to about if what I’m attracted to is wrong. I’ve spoken to MAPS before about it but I always end up getting anxiety and doubting myself.

I also feel that I may be a MAP bc I like to watch shotacon but I’m a minor so I’m not even sure how that works.

All I’m looking for is a space that’s willing to listen to me and talk to me about how I feel.

TYSM for reading. <3

[PorcelainLark]

I don’t know if I’m even allowed to be here but I’m looking anywhere to reach out to people that might understand me.

There's no rule against AAMs being here.

I’m a 15yo gay boy. I’ve been attracted to adults of all ages for the longest time and didn’t understand why or what kinda person that makes me. My friends would call me a “reverse pedophile” because of my attraction to adults, specifically older ones. Over time, i feel the reason I’m attacked to older men is because of some daddy issues I think I have.

I think it's pretty common, however, it's started to be treated as unusual as a result of the growing discussion about power dynamics.

However, my daddy issues are not the reason I’m here. I’m here to about if what I’m attracted to is wrong. I’ve spoken to MAPS before about it but I always end up getting anxiety and doubting myself.

MAPs don't always agree about many things, however I don't think anyone would think you are morally at fault for your attractions. I would imagine, the motivation is caution, for example is it risky to spend time around MAPs? The conventional wisdom is "yes", while most MAPs (even anti-contact ones) want to argue this is a prejudice. Maybe a compromise could be avoiding MAPs for now and evaluating whether it's prejudice when you're older?

I also feel that I may be a MAP bc I like to watch shotacon but I’m a minor so I’m not even sure how that works.

In my opinion, MA is, in reality, to do with body type, not relative age. MAP is primarily meant as a neutral term because "pedophile" has a strong stigma tied to it (i.e. being used as interchangeable with "molester"). So, if a 14 year old is attracted to 8 year olds, they are still a pedophile in the strictest sense of the word.

For support for minor MAPs, there's this:
https://www.mapresources.info/support/m ... w0nxk3fy1p

All I’m looking for is a space that’s willing to listen to me and talk to me about how I feel.

I'm sure most people here are happy to listen, however, if you want more emotional support there are communities which are more focused on that. Not to say you're unwelcome here, just that this place is slightly more activism orientated.

TYSM for reading. <3

You're welcome.

[CloudyNights]

I think it's pretty common, however, it's started to be treated as unusual as a result of the growing discussion about power dynamics.

That is one thing I’ve always struggled with. I want to be okay with MAPS and AAM but because of the arguments I’ve heard from antis (specifically with power dynamics) my mind always goes back to telling it’s wrong.

MAPs don't always agree about many things, however I don't think anyone would think you are morally at fault for your attractions. I would imagine, the motivation is caution, for example is it risky to spend time around MAPs? The conventional wisdom is "yes", while most MAPs (even anti-contact ones) want to argue this is a prejudice. Maybe a compromise could be avoiding MAPs for now and evaluating whether it's prejudice when you're older?

I always try to hold off on doing anything with MAPs in any sense but I always end up coming back to them.

For support for minor MAPs

Thank you so much for sending me more resources to explore. I did make sure to look into what else there was so that I can make more sense of who I am as a person. Also, what you said about body type being the main attraction for MAPs I have never heard of but makes a lot of sense.

[Fragment]

I also feel that I may be a MAP bc I like to watch shotacon but I’m a minor so I’m not even sure how that works.

If you watch shotacon do you imagine yourself as the younger boy, or as doing something with the younger boy? That seems like it might help answer your question.

[CloudyNights]

I also feel that I may be a MAP bc I like to watch shotacon but I’m a minor so I’m not even sure how that works.

If you watch shotacon do you imagine yourself as the younger boy, or as doing something with the younger boy? That seems like it might help answer your question.

I image myself as the younger boy

[PorcelainLark]

That is one thing I’ve always struggled with. I want to be okay with MAPS and AAM but because of the arguments I’ve heard from antis (specifically with power dynamics) my mind always goes back to telling it’s wrong.

A comparison I might use is to animal rights. For most of history it wasn't a given, however today we take it quite seriously. Whether or not AA or MA are wrong, stigma means people are going to begin to downplay how common it is. I'm not really trying to argue whether it's right or wrong, just that there are reasons that people may have started to downplay how common it is. I say this because when I was a teenager, no one would be surprised that a heterosexual teenage boy would be attracted to an adult woman.

I always try to hold off on doing anything with MAPs in any sense but I always end up coming back to them.

Well, as long as you haven't been harmed or caused harm by it, is there something else specific that makes you feel guilty about it? I'm trying to be balanced here, but my bias is to see the major issue as fearmongering surround MAPs, like if you're constantly told to be afraid and cautious of MAPs then being around MAPs will make you uncomfortable. That's not to say MAPs are all perfect people or AMSC is ethical, just there's an atmosphere of fear and paranoia surrounding MAPs. I mean, even I, as an adult, was afraid to join any MAP community until very recently.

Also, what you said about body type being the main attraction for MAPs I have never heard of but makes a lot of sense.

This is why, personally, I'd argue it's a preference rather than a fetish. For comparison, if someone in a relationship transitions, is the cisgender partner fetishising the original gender of their partner if they split up over it? But I digress.

If you watch shotacon do you imagine yourself as the younger boy, or as doing something with the younger boy? That seems like it might help answer your question.

I second this. Watching shotacon doesn't necessarily mean you're a MAP.

Thank you so much for sending me more resources to explore. I did make sure to look into what else there was so that I can make more sense of who I am as a person.

No problem, good luck.

[Fragment]

If you watch shotacon do you imagine yourself as the younger boy, or as doing something with the younger boy? That seems like it might help answer your question.

I image myself as the younger boy

It probably means you're not a MAP then, but as you get older you might be interested in age-regression or age-play in your relationships. Or maybe as you grow older you'll identify less with the young boys in shota.

Many aspects of our sexuality are fairly rigid, but there is a whole bunch that is fluid, too. None of it is evil or wrong, though. Just try to be aware. Know your self and be honest with yourself. Hopefully that can help you be happy, or at least, at peace.