I Don't Understand My Sexual Orientation

[Batmanthecute]

So I'm attracted to girls from 12 to adulthood. I love girls with cute young faces but not girls with flat chests. I have relieved myself of some thoughts of girls with young girls with small breasts but I'm predominantly attracted to young girls with budding breasts. There's something about young petite girls with C-cups or D-cups that gets me so excited. I'm not here to brag about sexual impulses. I just hear most maps say they love girls with small breasts because they look like children but there's something about the bridge of childhood to adulthood that gets me so excited. My therapist says that due to my childhood trauma young girls who have childish faces but adult features is a sign of myself longing for something that was taken from me. I think it's because when I was 4 to 11 I was super sexually active but from 12 on I was sexually shy. There was this girl I met when I was 14. She was this curvy 13-year-old brunette with huge boobs. She would wear this Cookie Monster shirt where his pupils would pop out because of her nipples. I was very insecure when I was younger so I thought I wasn't much but we bonded a lot. We both loved shows like Family Guy so we had this dark sense of humor. This one day she put her hand on my leg and said she found me super handsome. I got all shy and said thanks. I hate myself to this day for saying that. I found her so stunning. I should have been more open but anyway this one day we were chatting and she just grabbed my hands and pressed them against her breasts. I was so shy that I froze up. I don't even remember what happened after that. I just remember how she was so into me and I was such a pussy. That was kind of a running theme throughout my childhood. Girls would throw themselves at me and I would be a total pussy. I'm not bragging! I fucking hate myself for not being forward.

Once I was 16 I started dating a 12-year-old online. I was so into her and it felt comfortable and then after that ended I kept seeing younger girls instead of girls my age. I think I liked taking back the years that I lost but I'm embarrassed by a lot of things in those moments. At one point I had to choose between two girls. A girl my age who was a ten-minute walk from me or a 13-year-old a couple of states away. Guess who I chose. I thought I was just more comfortable with younger girls because it felt like taking back the mistakes I made. Like Humbert Humbert in Lolita. How his love died when he was young so spent the rest of his life attracted to younger girls. But the older I get the more stuck I am to younger girls. I used to date a beautiful woman and when we would have sex I couldn't finish and then I'd give into my mind having a fantasy about a pubescent girl and boom. I'd cum in seconds. Now when I watch regular porn I can't help but to let my mind wander to a fantasy.

[G@yWad69]

I get it, I used to think I was Ace or Demisexual during my teliophile anti phase brcause I had a hard time getting off to adults, then I tried fantasing about minors instead and came instantly. I realized that even thinking about minors in a nonsexual way gets me hard, which is a far cry from ace or demisexual. Now fantasing about adults fully bores me. Their just so wrinkly and hairy. I done want that. I dont understand our sexuality either, neither do top of the line scientific professionals, no one does, were an enigma. But heres the thing, we dont have to, just live your best life

[Brain O'Conner]

Hey, what's up Batmanthecute. It's been a while since I last seen you. How have you been? As for me, there has been a lot that has happened, especially a story I want to tell you as of one of the reasons I've been dead lately. It's nice seeing though.

[RoosterDance]

My therapist says that due to my childhood trauma young girls who have childish faces but adult features is a sign of myself longing for something that was taken from me.

Personally, I feel like that's thinking too hard about it. We like what we like and we don't get to choose. This goes for all preferences, sexual and otherwise. Do we put this much consideration into why we like mustard, for example? You could come up with a million different rationalizations for it, but none of them will change the end result. This is the philosophy I live by anyway. You may or may not agree.

[Brain O'Conner]

My therapist says that due to my childhood trauma young girls who have childish faces but adult features is a sign of myself longing for something that was taken from me.

Personally, I feel like that's thinking too hard about it. We like what we like and we don't get to choose. This goes for all preferences, sexual and otherwise. Do we put this much consideration into why we like mustard, for example? You could come up with a million different rationalizations for it, but none of them will change the end result. This is the philosophy I live by anyway. You may or may not agree.

Honestly, you're on to something there. My hypothesis is that this therapist that he has, like with all other therapists who view his sexual attraction as inherently harmful if acted upon, is making up and finding excuses to justify their pathological views. This person may be a therapist, but from what I'm seeing, this therapist is just flat out wrong and could possibly be deceptive to again, justify their disdain that they have for such interactions. Not only that, but what this therapist is saying makes no damn sense at all. Gaslighting this dude's attraction to his childhood trauma by saying that "due to his childhood trauma young girls who have childish faces but adult features is a sign of himself longing for something that was taken away from me?" To me, that sounds like bullshit on so many levels. First of all, let's not pretend that there are a lot of adult woman that have so called "childish faces" and there are a lot of younger girls that have so called "adult faces". Just seeing what that therapist is saying alone just tells that this therapist is either downright stupid, deceptive, ignorant, or all of the above. Batmanthecute, stop seeing that therapist. No, I mean really. I can sense bad omens.