I think we still have a long way to go on aspects of sexuality that are considered “disgusting” or “not normal”. We should have sex ed start at 5 instead of around puberty and mention kink(aka human sexuality).
Ex:
Kink shaming even in sexually progressive circles, emanating in part from sex-negative feminists and social justice advocates.
Replies:Not long ago I could have said “anything between consenting adults is fine” and almost every progressive would have agreed with me, but recently there are a lot of people who seem to be becoming increasingly vocal in saying “kink shaming is a good thing actually,” particularly in self-proclaimed progressive circles.
In my view this has been part of a disturbing trend of some people involved in social justice rhetoric deciding what is right or wrong based on what they find “gross” or what makes them uncomfortable, which has traditionally been a very conservative motivator. When questioned they will discuss kinks that are problematic (which is fair and a good thing to be discussed) but then will jump to that being a justification for shaming. It reminds me of the way TERFs use language like “gender critical” to justify their bigotry.
So, have we noticed this? Where did it come from? Was this justified by some sort of research I’m not familiar with, or have we started to let people’s personal boundaries dictate what others can enjoy?
I’ve noticed this a lot too. Not only the kinkshamkng becoming popular, but also anti-sexwork sentiments as well. Like people saying that sex workers are “tricked” into thinking they are empowered but are instead degrading themselves somehow. And this is especially true in regards to particularly kinky sex work.
I don’t really know where it’s coming from but it’s really disappointing.
On one hand I think it’s important to examine certain things (for instance I don’t think, personally, that there’s any ethical way to have a 24/7 “master/slave” situation, and tbh I don’t love the idea of collars worn outside the home because exposing people to your kinks, even if they don’t know that’s what they are, rubs me the wrong way) but on the other people’s business is their business.
I think the idea of kinkshaming gets made fun of because some, not by any means all but some, people heavily involved in kink will do things like compare people saying it’s not ethical to walk your partner on a leash in public to people being homophobic to a same gender couple holding hands. Basically I think the issue is more when people treat their sexual tastes as just as important as people’s actual identities.
But at the end of the day I’m personally a pretty live and let live person.
So I've read through this whole thread and have a lot of thoughts, most of which you probably won't like.
The main kinks I feel like liberal spaces have a problem with are the violent ones (bdsm, etc) and the degrading ones (scat, golden showers, etc)
The shaming seems to have shown up as a response to a couple of things: widespread normalization of violent/degrading kinks (breath play, dom/sub, etc) and how the people on the receiving end tend to be women/femme. Basically, violent/degrading kinks with women on the receiving end have become so normalized that young women's early sexual experiences tend to involve kinks they don't want (but think they should or think their partner wants) and make them feel uncomfortable and prevent them from having a positive and safe sexual experience. It also encourages young men to practice these things against female partners and to be turned on by it. Mainstreaming of kinks seems to be leading to negative sexual experiences for women because kinks are so normalized, that they are brought into the bedroom without prior consent, with women being treated poorly for not wanting them.
Similar issues with sex work (since that was mentioned somewhere in the thread). When you say sex work is getting safer/better, first thing that comes to mind is "clean coal". Sex work is very dangerous, highly exploitative, and so stigmatized it can affect future employment possibilities, especially if it is caught on tape (porn). Right or wrong, it comes with the territory in the current landscape. Some liberal areas pretending sex work is safe and about choice (idealistic, not currently the case for vast majority) sets up young women for failure (being harmed and exploited) who may not fully comprehend the actual reality of most sex workers. Our brains don't fully develop until 25, and most amateur female porn stars are younger than that. Like coal miner's, I support the safety of sex workers and chances to have other job opportunities if they want to leave. Like coal mining, I would never encourage someone to do sex work.
The shaming of liking vanilla sex or not being into kinks is really frustrating, and the current culture shames people for desiring the basics of sex, rather than the potentially dangerous extras.
For the violent kinks, why does the violence happening during sex make it ok? Ex. Someone wants to be struck and choked during sex. Yes they want it the pain, but so do those who self harm. Why is self harm okay during sex, but considered something concerning outside of it? What is so magical about sex that everything becomes ok if it involves titillation or orgasms?
People can do whatever kinks they want as long as their legal, but the mainstreaming is bringing kinks into the forefront where people have to say no to them (sometimes to great resistance), rather than having to ask for them.
Source:I wouldn't mind if more people in the left would be critical of the liberal propaganda that being into animals is acceptable or that emotionally and physically abusive relationships are empowering if you call them BDSM.
IMO it's also important to understand that not every criticism of prostitution is coming from a conservative viewpoint. The business is dominated by violence, emotional abuse, addiction and human trafficking. The reality for the vast majority of prostitutes is not making big cash selling nudes online. Being anti sex work from a leftist point of view is not criticism of the people actually working in the business but of the buyers and the pimps. It is anti sex work not anti sex worker.
https://www.reddit.com/r/socialjustice1 ... much_more/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PornIsMisogyny/s/7ZBHYroTDa
