Editor's note: I am seeking the copy of the video that was made where Harry Hay was interviewed during this march. There are also portions that include me with my bullhorn (electronic loudspeaker), as well as exchanging a nice kiss with Harry! I know it exists because the videographer gave me a copy of it years later. However, I lost it! And the videographer has since either not received multiple emails or is now too old (or deceased?) to respond. I'll post my contact email if anyone can help on this issue!)
Note: These actions were part of a self-educating process i had in my early activist experience, fully un-assisted by regularly "paternalistic" and non-interested leaders, whom never seemed to understand the value of speaking UNMEDIATED to the public! I'm still as befuddled by this as I was then, except now I am able to see the Middle Class/Middle Managerial ASSumptions that have controlled various aspects of "our" self-defense over the years. While I can more readily empathize, I still hold an angry grudge towards them for NEVER engaging me in an open-ended debate, much less ANY conversation other than to Tell me to Subordinate to their allegedly All-Knowing tactics!
Hrrrrumph!
"Spirit of Stonewall" (S.O.S.) MARCH 1994, New York City (notes from):
ON COPS
At the U.N.
Feedback from core activists
Asked by Tom R. (principle NAMBLA activist and main leader of this march) not to use [my] bullhorn among s.o.s./NAMBLA contingents as idea was not to be confrontational, he said. Later, Tom himself was confronting hysterical onlookers with his own smaller bullhorn.(whether his action occurred during the alternative march or during the main gay pride march, i don't recall) Tom used what i call simplistic yells and chants which in my view did not deal with opposition's emotion in a way that bystanders might think critically about the way they've been conditioned to distrust us.
i did comply with Tom's rule [(since he is both a founding member and experienced activist, as well as a man i know pretty well, i felt that i was obligated to follow his opinion)] except when other NAMBLA members themselves spoke chants--then i sought to aid their amperage. Tom refused several of my invitations to assist in having his directions heard better (since his bullhorn was just so weak along sound lines--but perhaps his idea was a tactic, so not to alert the opposition to what we were doing?). i did take it upon myself to assist when we turned off 30th street to position for entering the main gay pride march. At least one person said that this assistance (thanks to my larger bullhorn) saved him from missing the turn as he was behind passing out flyers.
Didn't go too far from the S.O.S. contingent since i wanted to be with my fellows [if they were attacked i wanted to be with them in solidarity; its an emotional thing, maybe you wouldn't understand unless there]. Did go by the radical faerie contingent (during S.O.S./alternative march) and do a little speaking until one faerie's indignant emotion chased me away (i figured that since they work via consensus, there was a consensus in this man's challenge to me, tho i later learned that no consensus had been reached). (...)
Was able to deter one angry opponent (back by the NAMBLA contingent) who looked to be moving in for a physical attack--from behind. i met him [in mid-approach] just as he was picking up speed [and heading towards Pete] with fists clenched, with a little Saul Alinsky-itsu--dealing with him outside his experience. i gave him my Chomskydo Karate spiel and handout [which consisted of either Chomsky's original speech on Media Control or my serious magnification along BL lines].
The aggressor reacted with the words: "Are you with NAMBLA?" i said i was with myself (truthfully) standing for what i believe. i was not in fear and met his ready hysteria with evenness in my voice. He took my handout and then crumpled it without looking at it and threw it away. i picked it back up and watched him as he walked away a ways and then turned back around and stood. i don't think he returned.
Most opponents remained on the sidelines.
Memorable challenges spoken: "You don't listen!" repeated over and over in a verbal confrontation when the guy i was interacting with (i guess i'd given him a flyer and was caught up in impromptu discourse with him) couldn't seem to think of anything else (--no way would he allow himself to imagine that our side of truth might be even equal to his! )...how interesting that those words are often yelled down onto the young...
"Keep your hands off our children" was another one that was spoken limply at the end of the march by a passerby as we gathered to rest. Too late i thought of: "Are human beings anyone's property?"
The usual moralisms were yelled too and that was when i responded (via bullhorn) with the Dutch Law and the remarkability of Holland being the CENTER OF GAY FREEDOM AND TOLERANCE while ALSO having this law tolerating intimacy between 12 year olds and adults. Then i spoke (via bullhorn) about how tightly controlled our society is that our media [and our "expert" culture, including the "people's" Left] never even mentions such realities. (also included Japan's, Malta's, Spain's, Canada's laws; source: The Third ILGA Pink Book)
Someone counted 92 marchers in S.O.S. At one point Tom said 300 had just joined us (perhaps they were elsewhere?)...he's often good at such things, saying what people want to hear and keep up their spirits...Maybe it was another tactic, as at that point we were being escorted by a number of cop cars and vans.
ON COPS
When we turned off 30th, a line of cops (without riot gear, their squad cars behind) stood across the street in front of us [i don't remember if they had their bats in hand]. We took to the sidewalk and weren't hassled. They even helped us cross busy street together (were they the same cops who denounce BLs at other moments with political opportunism?)
(I recall David Thorstad doing an exceptional job of dealing with those situations!)
UNITED NATIONS BLDG
Near the united nations building i spoke up about the u.s. mission's inconsistencies of its pose of "protecting children". My yells (via bullhorn) weren't as good as they could've been but i did raise the issue of the u.s. refusal to provide maps of mines to Vietnam/Cambodia which still regularly go off killing and maiming the young; and i did speak a bit about Palestinian kids being tortured by the u.s.-backed Israeli government (source: Necessary Illusions by Noam Chomsky).
But i lack so far the ability to formulate such truths so that it's compatible with marching. The angles were good, but i didn't tie them in very well with BLs being violenced, so onlookers might "connect the dots" to the usual pattern of government hypocrisy and propaganda...
THINKING ABOUT TACTICS
One S.O.S. marcher said i should do more with the therapy angle--which i touched on briefly; but i wasn't prepared enough to say strong things via memory. In general, i did get the "ideahh" to write simple key words down on one peice of paper [as cue-type cards for bullhorn use], but this only after much trial and error via multiple marches.
i myself slipped into the cycle of victimizing when an anti-homo revealed his status from the sidelines while attacking our contingent verbally. After engaging him about his anti-BL mindset he let loose with his general hate for all homophiles (that includes adult-adult homos for those who don't know this term). In reaction i broadcast (via bullhorn) this belief which could have put him in a trouble spot. i should instead have reacted with a call to lovingly deal with homophobia instead of taking up power's tools.
NAMBLA CORE ACTIVISTS
NAMBLA core activists Pete M., Bill A. and Tom R. responded [to my bullhorn actions] in varying gradations of negativity; i was only trying in my folk way to speak up LOUD, PROUD, AND NOT COWED (only after having, in no way, any help to try to find a method that might work for all of us; they seem only interested that I "shut up."). Bill was especially volatile, almost hissing for me to shut up and stop my "noise"; interesting because at other times he's so polite and controlled in his emotions--it's almost like he loses his head when i dare disobey His authority).
(i find all of this to be a most curious thing since most of these in the leadership were attracted to teenagers; meaning rebel-oriented hypocrisy-challenging DUDES who, if they had a chance to yell into a bullhorn like i, most likely would have been just as PISSED OFF! Was THIS REACTION the best that these Big Activists could do???)
(And I wasn't the first to be unruly and insubordinate to their Authority! Both The Unicorn and Miguelito expressed anger about this sort of stuff over and over, only to be met with a regular bout of perhaps burned-out (?) cynicism from their adults!)
When Peter came back to where i was behind the S.O.S. contingent, tho at first quite disrespectful of my independent judgment, he did let me engage him in debate about the topic for awhile. He said something about using more simplistic tactics (i think) and also about how no one would listen to what i was saying and that there was only one way to educate people and that was along the lines of the way schools do it. i think he also felt that my tactics would do more damage than good. But in the end he left in comprimise when i agreed to stick with the one about Holland's age of consent law, tho i didn't like having only that one to repeat over and over...i would rather have lots of such things to say.
Where are these guys BEFORE these actions? They know my style of doing things and they ought to lean to communicate with me [from their more experienced and possibly more insightful position]! Will the READER also communicate with me? What do you think works, or might work in public march situations??
FEEDBACK FROM OTHERS:
Fellow individual marchers (not in "leadership") often congradulated my bullhorn efforts and seemed genuinely on my side about the tactics i used. In the 4 or so miles we marched in total i got to speaking with many different people in the S.O.S. contingent: From a female anarchist wearing a military-style helmet to Harry Hay's friend John B.; to a friendly man dressed in 1920s-style clothing and hat.
At the end of the march (and the end of his speaking to our marchers) i asked Tom if i could address the contingent and he let me; i asked those who back up my choice of "arms" (bullhorn and tactics) to write letters to the Bulletin saying so. i now add that you please send a copy to me so that they'll be heard. An aside: i am still kind of wondering whether "those on my side" were really that way for reasons of genuineness. i may've been completely out of line in my tactics and method of carrying out what i call "direct action" towards the public [whom i believe are the ones who really make history--not our ever-manipulative self-imposed "leaders"].
Later, after i had tried to help magnify Tom's tiny and weak bullhorn (so that more of our marchers might easily hear him) Phil W. said he thought that i had been deliberately trying to cause mechanical static! No, i did not know that doing that would cause that problem!! Sorry Tom!
(holy shit, now i realize that some, if not many, genuine BL marchers probably see my entire activism that day as being some kind of destructive heckler...THAT'S what gets me to think about suicide...But people like Phil W. don't take the time necessary to try to find out what people like myself are really trying to do; was this also what happened to The Unicorn and many other potentially important activists????????)
END OF REPORT OF STONEWALL