I suffered traumatic oppression from people aggressively limiting me as a minor

[Dendromaniac]

When I was 13 that was when I had my first online armchair therapist randomly lecturing me about how old I was and why I shouldn't do certain things like sex, drugs, and alcohol. They told me I was wrong for wanting that. Well I hadn't forgotten about that person because it seemed to hurt me in my soul. "I am too.... young to make my own decisions?", but of course I was too young to consent anyways, right... because I was a minor I was incapable of making long term decisions correctly. The fact he said that was enough to hurt however what hurt even more was being told "you're bisexual? Well you aren't old enough to feel that way." I remember my best friend and my mom saying it, then apologizing, yet it still set a precedent. Because when I was 16 my dad said to my mom "He's too young to go through depression"

I certainly couldn't have sex with strangers either, nonono. That would eb a detriment. Well ironically enough I knew that the adults in my dms were making me feel more loved than my own parents and even the stranger online who is considered correct and helpful. From time to time I didn't understand why people thought I was naive. I just thought that because the online strangers were so plentiful they were probably right and it hurt so bad. It drove me into hating my age and people who were my own age, because I thought they were stupid. Keep in mind it all comes from the adults who were in my life. I remember some online Redditors telling me "I'm no better than other kids and thats what separates me from them and why I'm lesser"

I couldn't win. I was driven to the point I simply sat in my bathtub and started crying my ass out because I felt so insecure and self-hating.

Yeah, whether the adults who did things with me as a child online were bad or good i just don't care about that and I never did. WHat I cared about was my self-esteem and autonomy and most people reeeeallly don't seem to get that.

[GL_in_Lyrics]

I don't think you're alone in this regard, at all.

I mean, I definitely had my childhood ruined by Antis and their ilk. I think about it frequently. And I know more of us feel the same way.

My childhood could have been near-perfect if it wasn't for Antis. But the Anti blockade was quite severe, and basically made my childhood rotten. That's how much sexual activity meant to me as a kid. Couldn't have any of that. I'm so messed up from all of that, now it's 25 years later and I'm still an anti-social, anxious virgin.

[Scorchingwilde]

When I was 13 that was when I had my first online armchair therapist randomly lecturing me about how old I was and why I shouldn't do certain things like sex, drugs, and alcohol. They told me I was wrong for wanting that. Well I hadn't forgotten about that person because it seemed to hurt me in my soul. "I am too.... young to make my own decisions?", but of course I was too young to consent anyways, right... because I was a minor I was incapable of making long term decisions correctly. The fact he said that was enough to hurt however what hurt even more was being told "you're bisexual? Well you aren't old enough to feel that way." I remember my best friend and my mom saying it, then apologizing, yet it still set a precedent. Because when I was 16 my dad said to my mom "He's too young to go through depression"

I certainly couldn't have sex with strangers either, nonono. That would eb a detriment. Well ironically enough I knew that the adults in my dms were making me feel more loved than my own parents and even the stranger online who is considered correct and helpful. From time to time I didn't understand why people thought I was naive. I just thought that because the online strangers were so plentiful they were probably right and it hurt so bad. It drove me into hating my age and people who were my own age, because I thought they were stupid. Keep in mind it all comes from the adults who were in my life. I remember some online Redditors telling me "I'm no better than other kids and thats what separates me from them and why I'm lesser"

I couldn't win. I was driven to the point I simply sat in my bathtub and started crying my ass out because I felt so insecure and self-hating.

Yeah, whether the adults who did things with me as a child online were bad or good i just don't care about that and I never did. WHat I cared about was my self-esteem and autonomy and most people reeeeallly don't seem to get that.

The way you were spoken to by your mom about being bisexual hit me very strongly. I was 'too young' to know I'm trans or be allowed to medically transition, I wasn't supposed to want to make those choices for myself because of the 'child' role I was supposed to be in, but if I had been able to step into the role of an 'adult' back then I would have been responsible for navigating my own emotions around the emotional abuse my mom was getting from my dad, and my behavior in playing the rescuer in a cartman drama triangle would have been my own fault, and I would probably not have ever chosen to help someone in need as an adult if I had taken that responsibility on as a kid. I know for a fact if I had either been cisgender or someone without empathy my life would have been better, but those options weren't in the cards for me. Now, as a MAP facing down two different genocides in my country against the groups I'm a part of, and I'm really anticipating trying to rationalize and find meaning in going passively to my own death or taking on some level of complicity in the systemic violence in order to survive. I don't know if I'm going to have a purpose in life after this I have to face the survivor's guilt of knowing the best among us did not survive, and never could have, nor do I think I'm going to find any meaning in self-abandonment and martyrdom for the sake of my peers or oppressors either.