I feel bad when there are kids near me

[HumanBeing]

I feel uncomfortable and mad when there are unknown kids near me, I can’t think anything but that the parents are watching me and that they want me to be as far as possible from any kid

It tires and frustrates me so much that I avoid going alone or with my family to the beach or any place with more children than usual, I just go to that places if someone invites me and I don’t want to “ruin the party”

[BLueRibbon]

Given the expectation that MAPs must be vile monsters foaming at the mouth, unable to look or act like a normal person, it's extremely unlikely that people will suspect you're a MAP unless you're staring super intensely.

I've actually had experiences of being overheard talking with other MAPs in restaurants and bars back in the west, and the response was a surprised glance, followed by everyone getting back to normal.

You have no reason to worry.

[HumanBeing]

Given the expectation that MAPs must be vile monsters foaming at the mouth, unable to look or act like a normal person, it's extremely unlikely that people will suspect you're a MAP unless you're staring super intensely.

I've actually had experiences of being overheard talking with other MAPs in restaurants and bars back in the west, and the response was a surprised glance, followed by everyone getting back to normal.

You have no reason to worry.

Thanks for your comment, I know it's NOT a rational thought but I just have difficulties to react emotionally in a healthier way.

[Fragment]

Being around kids is the only thing that makes me somewhat happy. And kids enjoy talking to me.

People can think whatever the fuck they want about me.

I'm on bail for sex crimes and I still strike up conversations with kids I walk past in public. It's not a breach of my bail terms and it's not like I'm going to abduct them and rape them in the bushes.

We need to stop internalized pedophobia. Society is so evil for making you feel this way.

[PorcelainLark]

I feel uncomfortable and mad when there are unknown kids near me, I can’t think anything but that the parents are watching me and that they want me to be as far as possible from any kid

It tires and frustrates me so much that I avoid going alone or with my family to the beach or any place with more children than usual, I just go to that places if someone invites me and I don’t want to “ruin the party”

Is it guilt/shame, fear/caution?

If it's guilt/shame - what do you feel guilty about or ashamed of?

If it's fear/caution - do you think it's a realistic concern or is it just an irrational fear? Also is the locus of fear about what you might do, or what other people might do?

For me, I avoid children, but not because of guilt or shame. Nor am I afraid I'm going to hurt children. It's that if someone asks me if I'm a pedophile, I don't want to have to lie, and I'm not ready to come out yet.