Hello, everyone. I've been a MAP for a long time now. As a 55 year old gay man, I choose 18-35 year old male partners in adult relationships and am attracted to both boys and girls from 11 to 14, so I'm a hebephile. I have had a great deal of depression, anxiety and self-hatred wrapped up with this and have been close to hurting myself several times. I have never offended against a child - and, God willing, I never will. I also enjoy the idea of age play but have never tried it.
If you would like to know more about me, please don't hesitate to reach out.
I... am a MAP.
I... am a MAP.
BL (AOA 12-16) GL (AOA 11-14).
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PorcelainLark
- Posts: 847
- Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2024 9:13 pm
Re: I... am a MAP.
Welcome, Thom2025. Should we call you Thom for short?
I'm sorry to hear that, I hope the community will help you feel more comfortable with yourself. I'm sure many of us here can relate to that.I have had a great deal of depression, anxiety and self-hatred wrapped up with this and have been close to hurting myself several times. I have never offended against a child - and, God willing, I never will.
Just so you're aware, we don't allow private messages here.If you would like to know more about me, please don't hesitate to reach out.
Re: I... am a MAP.
Using the public thread is no problem for me. I am open to getting advice from anyone who might have some. You, if you like, can call me Thom.
BL (AOA 12-16) GL (AOA 11-14).
Re: I... am a MAP.
Hey Thom:
I'm Sam and I'm new to the forum. Anyway, may AOA is pretty much the same as yours, but mine is just exclusively for boys. I struggle with the same mental health issues you do. Things go pretty well for me so long as I don't convince myself I don't need my anti-depressent.
It was kind of interesting that you brought up age play. I have actually experimented with that a little with adults I found online who were into it, with me playing a boy within my own AOA and having someone else be my "dad." Never discussed with anyone I played with what my motivations or their motivations were in doing it. It kinda works a little bit for me, but you have to work to be in the right head space I guess. For me, that means dressing the part, trying to talk the part, being bathed, put to bed, accepting discipline from my "dad," those kind of things. But none of that kind of play for me has ever involved sex at all. I can't say that it is really a great outlet for my MAP feelings . . . it is scary to meet people you don't know from the Internet. Age play is interesting to think about for sure, but in practice it doesn't change reality. But in the end, if it helps to keep someone from offending against a kid . . . well, I guess it is a good thing.
I'm Sam and I'm new to the forum. Anyway, may AOA is pretty much the same as yours, but mine is just exclusively for boys. I struggle with the same mental health issues you do. Things go pretty well for me so long as I don't convince myself I don't need my anti-depressent.
It was kind of interesting that you brought up age play. I have actually experimented with that a little with adults I found online who were into it, with me playing a boy within my own AOA and having someone else be my "dad." Never discussed with anyone I played with what my motivations or their motivations were in doing it. It kinda works a little bit for me, but you have to work to be in the right head space I guess. For me, that means dressing the part, trying to talk the part, being bathed, put to bed, accepting discipline from my "dad," those kind of things. But none of that kind of play for me has ever involved sex at all. I can't say that it is really a great outlet for my MAP feelings . . . it is scary to meet people you don't know from the Internet. Age play is interesting to think about for sure, but in practice it doesn't change reality. But in the end, if it helps to keep someone from offending against a kid . . . well, I guess it is a good thing.