Why Teenage Daughters Start Treating Their Dads Differently

[msykm99]

Life is strange. Women like to have their nipples sucked sexually but use them to feed their children. Men like being called daddy but won’t attempt to have sex with their actual daughters.

Me personally, I’ve thought about having sex with my sisters and mother. I would never bang my mom but my feelings toward my sisters are different. I know I’m not alone with how I think because the most popular porn categories is family porn. I feel like “everyday” people have thought about having sex with a sibling or even a parent because we are human. We think about everything. I’m just saying the quiet part out loud.

I don’t have kids but I think having a daughter is a strange dynamic. There is no freaking way you have a hot daughter without thinking about something sexual. Yes “normal” people may think it and then quickly dismiss it and be weirded out. But it is the thought that I am focused on. Why is the thought even in your head. “Normal” people will probably swear up and down they’ve never or would ever think of their son or daughter in that way; and I know that’s a lie.

I think when daughters get older in their teen years they start to look at their dad’s differently because they come to terms that sex is out of the equation. Why do “normal” people always say things like, “Find a husband that treats you like your dad would” or “Find a wife that treats you like your mother would”. That in itself shows how complex life is and how confused we are as a whole. The way parents treat their kids when they find out they’re having sex is strange to me. I get the whole pregnancy thing, but besides that they say things like “I can’t imagine my little girl having sex”. I think these things are all weird routes to take to disguise the truth.

I like ages 5 and up. And I can’t imagine a dude who likes a nice ass or nice boobs seeing a girl underage and NOT saying to themselves “Damn she has a nice body for her age” in their heads. So imagine having that little girl around you all day. If you’ve been around children you know how they act and how clingy they are. They want to touch and kiss you. They explore, they’ll touch your private parts without thinking about it. Parents spend most of their time telling kids what they can and cannot do. Those are some of them. Without telling them, then they would naturally be attracted to you. I feel as though when girls come to terms that they cannot have sex with their dads then they start to treat other boys differently because they are confused.

[Scorchingwilde]

Life is strange. Women like to have their nipples sucked sexually but use them to feed their children. Men like being called daddy but won’t attempt to have sex with their actual daughters.

Me personally, I’ve thought about having sex with my sisters and mother. I would never bang my mom but my feelings toward my sisters are different. I know I’m not alone with how I think because the most popular porn categories is family porn. I feel like “everyday” people have thought about having sex with a sibling or even a parent because we are human. We think about everything. I’m just saying the quiet part out loud.

I don’t have kids but I think having a daughter is a strange dynamic. There is no freaking way you have a hot daughter without thinking about something sexual. Yes “normal” people may think it and then quickly dismiss it and be weirded out. But it is the thought that I am focused on. Why is the thought even in your head. “Normal” people will probably swear up and down they’ve never or would ever think of their son or daughter in that way; and I know that’s a lie.

I think when daughters get older in their teen years they start to look at their dad’s differently because they come to terms that sex is out of the equation. Why do “normal” people always say things like, “Find a husband that treats you like your dad would” or “Find a wife that treats you like your mother would”. That in itself shows how complex life is and how confused we are as a whole. The way parents treat their kids when they find out they’re having sex is strange to me. I get the whole pregnancy thing, but besides that they say things like “I can’t imagine my little girl having sex”. I think these things are all weird routes to take to disguise the truth.

I like ages 5 and up. And I can’t imagine a dude who likes a nice ass or nice boobs seeing a girl underage and NOT saying to themselves “Damn she has a nice body for her age” in their heads. So imagine having that little girl around you all day. If you’ve been around children you know how they act and how clingy they are. They want to touch and kiss you. They explore, they’ll touch your private parts without thinking about it. Parents spend most of their time telling kids what they can and cannot do. Those are some of them. Without telling them, then they would naturally be attracted to you. I feel as though when girls come to terms that they cannot have sex with their dads then they start to treat other boys differently because they are confused.

In my own life I've thought of (but not actually been interested in or attracted to) sex with my parents and other relatives. Honestly, the only time the concept was truly distressing was when the person was abusive (in ways that were entirely nonsexual, mind you) or in denial of my actual gender as a trans person, which was because of dysphoria. I think sometimes the expectations people's kids face from their family or the top-down control and coercion over the household parents keep over their children make that kind of disgust almost inevitable, but it's not always the case, and I don't know how parents and their children would feel in a more anarchistic context devoid of all the arbitrary rules and hierarchy. For what it's worth, I was confused to the high heavens about sibling incest when I was younger because of religious myths and stories about princes marrying princesses not explaining the royals coming from different countries. Sometimes in fiction I like sibling incest, or in a more normal setting, 'childhood best friends' as a trope as a form of connection, solidarity, and resistance to parental and/or societal abuse.

[John_Doe]

Men like being called daddy but won’t attempt to have sex with their actual daughters.

That might be for altruistic reasons, or just the social taboo of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with parents being attracted to or madly in love with their children, and that's a hill that I'm willing to die on, but in a real-world context I think good parents will keep that to themselves (as in, keep it from their children) 99.9% of the time, at least.

The only reason I wouldn't want someone calling me 'daddy' is because it reminds me of what I call my father (even though we pronounce it 'duh-dee') and ruin the mood. If not for that I would like it (although I would probably find it pointless if the girl wasn't old enough to be my daughter, not that I would relate to people in their 20s, or maybe even older teens, any differently).

Me personally, I’ve thought about having sex with my sisters and mother. I would never bang my mom but my feelings toward my sisters are different. I know I’m not alone with how I think because the most popular porn categories is family porn. I feel like “everyday” people have thought about having sex with a sibling or even a parent because we are human. We think about everything. I’m just saying the quiet part out loud.

I think I would break down and weep with tears of joy if I found out that my hypothetical attractive daughter wanted to have sex with me. Then I would break down and cry tears of frustration because my erectile dysfunction would make it impossible and if she was attracted to me with clothes on, she wouldn't be to my nude body.

I think many people are excited by the idea of abstract incest but not their actual relatives (as in, they're turned on by the idea of having sex with some hypothetical person who is a family member but not the family members they actually have). I like the idea of having sex with a 'mommy,' sister, daughter, etc. but I'm not attracted to my actual mother or relatives. I've always been turned on by the idea of a woman who wants to have sex with her father, son, brother, etc.

I'm curious, were you raised with your mother and sisters?

There is no freaking way you have a hot daughter without thinking about something sexual. Yes “normal” people may think it and then quickly dismiss it and be weirded out. But it is the thought that I am focused on. Why is the thought even in your head. “Normal” people will probably swear up and down they’ve never or would ever think of their son or daughter in that way; and I know that’s a lie.

I find it hard to believe but people can suppress their natural instincts which is no way to live. When it comes to fantasy at least there should be no limits, as much as I think that someone should be the kind of person who would never want to hurt others or de-value their happiness which would rule out certain interests/fantasies. If there's any truth to the Westermark Effect, I don't see how it would apply to a parent's feelings toward their child.

I tend to find other people boring, not because they lack charisma or because of their personalities or their not being wild extroverts, they would probably find me boring in that regard, but because of their values. The value of life lies in having fun (although 'fun' has very specific connotations and I mean happiness in general) and serve the happiness of others but they have so many different arbitrary rules around when or whose happiness matters or when it can be justifiably pursued, above and beyond not wanting to cause pain to others or deprive them of happiness. I can't stand living in a world where it's taboo even just to want harmless mutually pleasurable sex with 'off-limits' people, however unrealistic people think it being ultimately harmless would be.

I think when daughters get older in their teen years they start to look at their dad’s differently because they come to terms that sex is out of the equation. Why do “normal” people always say things like, “Find a husband that treats you like your dad would” or “Find a wife that treats you like your mother would”. That in itself shows how complex life is and how confused we are as a whole. The way parents treat their kids when they find out they’re having sex is strange to me. I get the whole pregnancy thing, but besides that they say things like “I can’t imagine my little girl having sex”. I think these things are all weird routes to take to disguise the truth.

I could be wrong but I don't think the idea of wanting a husband who is like your father, as one example (I don't think I've heard 'find a woman who treats you like your mother does' so much as the idea that how a man feels about his mother will translate to how he feels about women in general or what kind of a husband he'll be), is a tell for someone being attracted to their father. I think it just means that they want a man who has the character and integrity of their father, their relationship will go beyond sexual attraction and intimacy. I've always wondered if people with very conventionally attractive family members think about them sexually and I could easily see it being the case that many of them do.

I didn't understand what you meant when you said that they start to look at their dads differently (or your last sentence, in the last paragraph). I would imagine that most teenage girls are not attracted to their fathers and would find the idea of sex with them horrifying, which is a big part of why I think it's generally better for a father to keep his attraction to his daughter to himself and just focus on the fantasy.

I like ages 5 and up. And I can’t imagine a dude who likes a nice ass or nice boobs seeing a girl underage and NOT saying to themselves “Damn she has a nice body for her age” in their heads. So imagine having that little girl around you all day. If you’ve been around children you know how they act and how clingy they are. They want to touch and kiss you. They explore, they’ll touch your private parts without thinking about it. Parents spend most of their time telling kids what they can and cannot do. Those are some of them. Without telling them, then they would naturally be attracted to you. I feel as though when girls come to terms that they cannot have sex with their dads then they start to treat other boys differently because they are confused.

By the time girls start to grow breasts, I think they're way beyond the kind of clingyness or exploration you seem to have in mind.

Scorchingwilde,

I'm not sure if this is close to what you're saying but I think the authoritarian, controlling role that parents often play would make it harder for children to think of them in that way. In the older man-young girl relationships that I might find endearing, the man might protect the girl, provide for her and generally care for her but he would not be a disciplinarian, he wouldn't be angry or frustrated if she 'disobeyed' him or feel entitled to try and control her, etc.

[Curson]

I think when daughters get older in their teen years they start to look at their dad’s differently because they come to terms that sex is out of the equation. Why do “normal” people always say things like, “Find a husband that treats you like your dad would” or “Find a wife that treats you like your mother would”. That in itself shows how complex life is and how confused we are as a whole. The way parents treat their kids when they find out they’re having sex is strange to me. I get the whole pregnancy thing, but besides that they say things like “I can’t imagine my little girl having sex”. I think these things are all weird routes to take to disguise the truth.

I think teen girls who go through puberty should be able to date older men as they see fit. I honestly don't see why it's such a big deal if they're attracted to adults and why that shouldn't or can't be reciprocated like it's the worst evil in the world according to other adults or parents of such teenage girls.

[msykm99]

The only reason I wouldn't want someone calling me 'daddy' is because it reminds me of what I call my father (even though we pronounce it 'duh-dee') and ruin the mood. If not for that I would like it (although I would probably find it pointless if the girl wasn't old enough to be my daughter, not that I would relate to people in their 20s, or maybe even older teens, any differently).

That’s understandable, and I don’t know what to call those who aren’t like us so I refer to them as “normal” people, but “normal” dudes with 2 loving parents and siblings have had a gf that calls them daddy and they’ll go the rest of their lives not thinking anything of it. Which is so crazy to me. We are judged so heavily but just spending a few hours on this forum I can tell that we are very bright and extremely conscious.

I think I would break down and weep with tears of joy if I found out that my hypothetical attractive daughter wanted to have sex with me. Then I would break down and cry tears of frustration because my erectile dysfunction would make it impossible and if she was attracted to me with clothes on, she wouldn't be to my nude body.

I think many people are excited by the idea of abstract incest but not their actual relatives (as in, they're turned on by the idea of having sex with some hypothetical person who is a family member but not the family members they actually have). I like the idea of having sex with a 'mommy,' sister, daughter, etc. but I'm not attracted to my actual mother or relatives. I've always been turned on by the idea of a woman who wants to have sex with her father, son, brother, etc.

I’m sorry to hear that. I do think being physically attractive is a big factor in my topic but honestly you never know what she’ll think. It sucks that all we have is fantasy. You are completely right about people have the abstract idea of incest. Going through my oldest sister's computer as a kid I saw step daughter porn. And as a kid my other sister sometimes held my hand and called me her boyfriend. So my outlook on things is completely different from say a person who never experienced this.

I'm curious, were you raised with your mother and sisters?

Yes. Three older half sisters and a mother. No father. I know the anti’s will have a field day with this one but like I mentioned before, my outlook on this topic is definitely different. The anti’s will say “well yea, they are your half sisters…that’s why you feel this way. Oh and you grew up with no father? Yup, you’re the golden child of a dysfunctional family”.

I’m sure there are many regular families that share my same ideology. Somewhere you mentioned something about how would someone feel if they had attractive family members. So back to my statement about thinking about having sex with my mother and sisters; I’m not physically attracted to my mom and the thought of having sex with her is cringe. I also factor in the fact that her as an authoritarian figure is quite the turnoff as well, but honestly if my mom was Megan Fox or Beyonce and I think the way I do now, I have no idea how I’d feel. As far as my sisters, I wouldn’t now but when they were teens and mid 20’s I would definitely go through with it if given the opportunity.

I find it hard to believe but people can suppress their natural instincts which is no way to live. When it comes to fantasy at least there should be no limits, as much as I think that someone should be the kind of person who would never want to hurt others or de-value their happiness which would rule out certain interests/fantasies. If there's any truth to the Westermark Effect, I don't see how it would apply to a parent's feelings toward their child.

I tend to find other people boring, not because they lack charisma or because of their personalities or their not being wild extroverts, they would probably find me boring in that regard, but because of their values. The value of life lies in having fun (although 'fun' has very specific connotations and I mean happiness in general) and serve the happiness of others but they have so many different arbitrary rules around when or whose happiness matters or when it can be justifiably pursued, above and beyond not wanting to cause pain to others or deprive them of happiness. I can't stand living in a world where it's taboo even just to want harmless mutually pleasurable sex with 'off-limits' people, however unrealistic people think it being ultimately harmless would be.

Yes they suppress everything. Shame, guilt and embarrassment will keep people from doing and saying a lot of things. I look at being a MAP the same way I look at snacks. I could eat a whole box of fruit gushers as a kid. I’m older now, but does that mean I don’t like fruit gushers anymore? Is it possible not to like fruit gushers anymore? Yes, very possible. But it is likely? No. I know for a fact that older women like teenage boys. They use being a woman to their advantage to flirt, get it out their system, and then get away with what they just did. They were once kids that looked at the older teenage boy with love and lust. How does that just go away? By shame, guilt and embarrassment. If more women had the guts to come forward, the world would be a better place.

I understand what you mean by calling people boring so deeply. When I talk to people I feel like I can never get the full truth out of them, no matter the topic. We have so many internal secrets. I have so many questions about things. Like why would my friend be mad I’m dating and having sex with his sister? I think it's jealousy. But I don’t wanna branch off topic too far.

I didn't understand what you meant when you said that they start to look at their dads differently (or your last sentence, in the last paragraph). I would imagine that most teenage girls are not attracted to their fathers and would find the idea of sex with them horrifying, which is a big part of why I think it's generally better for a father to keep his attraction to his daughter to himself and just focus on the fantasy.

To better put it, I think daughters grow up attracted to their dads. They don’t have a concept of sex or sexually attraction yet. When they start to understand sex and attraction they try to find that same affection in someone other than their dads because they understand that their dad’s don’t see them in that same light. So they look for boys who treat them how their dad would. I could be completely wrong but these are just my thoughts. Same could be possible for boys.

Overall, other than the social hate a parent or sibling would receive from the world for having sex with a family member, I think most people aren’t sure what would happen afterwards. What are the convos between you and your daughter after sex? What would siblings do after sex? The small things become large, especially in today's society.

[JGHeaven]

This is something I think I can speak about.

My parents divorced when I was quite young and I resented my mother at the time for making my dad go away. I always had a better relationship with my dad than my mother because my dad was a friend and cared but my mother just made endless demands and complaints.

Anyway, from 11/12 I was really missing my dad and would imagine him coming back and taking me away to a better life. By 12 my fantasy life turned more sexual and he'd sweet me away and we'd have a better life and be lovers. I think it was a combination of missing him and putting up with my moms bs.

After that my sexual fantasies about him just grew stronger until he re-entered my life as an adult.
So how common is that?

Well since then I've talked to various women who experienced something similar. I mean friends in real life on girls nights out and people online and it seems very common. It is said that dad is a girls first lover, and it's said that girls instinctively compare future boyfriends to their dad for that reason. A guy has to live up to dad to be a good lover. It's subconscious for many and conscious for others. For me I've been aware that I unfairly compare guys to my dad but I think most girls do whether they realise it or not.

When it comes to sexual fantasies, for me they so often involve my dad even now and I know plenty of women personally who still have attraction and fantasies of their dads and I know several who have gone beyond fantasy as adults and they haven't regretted it, it was just an extension and realisation of what they already had.

For women there is a natural attraction towards their father, sometimes it can lead to competitiveness and tension with mothers. I know I was angry at my mom but I know others who have been jealous of their moms and moms jealous of their daughters. Moms do recognise that competition from their younger more attractive daughters.

[msykm99]

Well since then I've talked to various women who experienced something similar. I mean friends in real life on girls nights out and people online and it seems very common. It is said that dad is a girls first lover, and it's said that girls instinctively compare future boyfriends to their dad for that reason. A guy has to live up to dad to be a good lover. It's subconscious for many and conscious for others. For me I've been aware that I unfairly compare guys to my dad but I think most girls do whether they realise it or not.

I’m glad you’re here to share that because I honestly think that this goes on in every girls life. I think it's way more common for girls than boys. No offense at all but red pill content has come up with a statement that men need to accept that “women are just adult children”. I believe that statement stems from this topic. Women yearn for that love they got from their fathers at a young age. It’s an unforgettable experience. Men are girls/women protecters and providers. So everything you felt is natural.

[JGHeaven]

Well since then I've talked to various women who experienced something similar. I mean friends in real life on girls nights out and people online and it seems very common. It is said that dad is a girls first lover, and it's said that girls instinctively compare future boyfriends to their dad for that reason. A guy has to live up to dad to be a good lover. It's subconscious for many and conscious for others. For me I've been aware that I unfairly compare guys to my dad but I think most girls do whether they realise it or not.

I’m glad you’re here to share that because I honestly think that this goes on in every girls life. I think it's way more common for girls than boys. No offense at all but red pill content has come up with a statement that men need to accept that “women are just adult children”. I believe that statement stems from this topic. Women yearn for that love they got from their fathers at a young age. It’s an unforgettable experience. Men are girls/women protecters and providers. So everything you felt is natural.

This sounds accurate. I was always much closer to my dad for as long as I remember. He was kinder, a friend, he listened, he cared for, he understood. I knew he was busy but he was to me the object of my affections more so than my mother. Even as a young child I would think of him as my boyfriend as well. Who did I want to drive me to school? Dad. Who did I want to take me to the shops? Dad. Who did I want to hang out with? Dad. Who did I want to cuddle up to under the covers? Dad. I loved being close to him, he made me feel special and protected for and loved and I understood he was the different gender and that always added an exciting element to it, my first boyfriend.

It's hard for any guy to live up to that. For the sexual side I always had that physical draw towards him, I always wanted more from him. I mean I knew mom had his physical attention but there was some jealousy from me and I wanted that. I didn't feel mom deserved it like I did and we were closer so why just her? Obviously I never pushed in that direction, I never felt I could, so they had to be thoughts and feelings held inside. When he left those feelings and fantasies just ballooned into something much stronger. It was only later when he re-entered my life that I could get some level on control over them.

But what has surprised me is how universal this seems. So many friends and people I've talked to have experienced the same thing to one degree or another. Nobody has said an outright "no they didn't", the closest to that is friends who have blushed and just said they can't talk about it, they're married or it's too embarrassing. I do wonder if there are or have been societies where that relationship is allowed to grow more naturally and physically and what the impacts have been. Have they become more confident? Has is helped or harmed being able to form later relationships? Does that natural comparison remain the same or increase or decrease? Questions like that.

[John_Doe]

The only reason I wouldn't want someone calling me 'daddy' is because it reminds me of what I call my father (even though we pronounce it 'duh-dee') and ruin the mood. If not for that I would like it (although I would probably find it pointless if the girl wasn't old enough to be my daughter, not that I would relate to people in their 20s, or maybe even older teens, any differently).

That’s understandable, and I don’t know what to call those who aren’t like us so I refer to them as “normal” people, but “normal” dudes with 2 loving parents and siblings have had a gf that calls them daddy and they’ll go the rest of their lives not thinking anything of it. Which is so crazy to me. We are judged so heavily but just spending a few hours on this forum I can tell that we are very bright and extremely conscious.

I think I would break down and weep with tears of joy if I found out that my hypothetical attractive daughter wanted to have sex with me. Then I would break down and cry tears of frustration because my erectile dysfunction would make it impossible and if she was attracted to me with clothes on, she wouldn't be to my nude body.

I think many people are excited by the idea of abstract incest but not their actual relatives (as in, they're turned on by the idea of having sex with some hypothetical person who is a family member but not the family members they actually have). I like the idea of having sex with a 'mommy,' sister, daughter, etc. but I'm not attracted to my actual mother or relatives. I've always been turned on by the idea of a woman who wants to have sex with her father, son, brother, etc.

I’m sorry to hear that. I do think being physically attractive is a big factor in my topic but honestly you never know what she’ll think. It sucks that all we have is fantasy. You are completely right about people have the abstract idea of incest. Going through my oldest sister's computer as a kid I saw step daughter porn. And as a kid my other sister sometimes held my hand and called me her boyfriend. So my outlook on things is completely different from say a person who never experienced this.

I'm curious, were you raised with your mother and sisters?

Yes. Three older half sisters and a mother. No father. I know the anti’s will have a field day with this one but like I mentioned before, my outlook on this topic is definitely different. The anti’s will say “well yea, they are your half sisters…that’s why you feel this way. Oh and you grew up with no father? Yup, you’re the golden child of a dysfunctional family”.

I’m sure there are many regular families that share my same ideology. Somewhere you mentioned something about how would someone feel if they had attractive family members. So back to my statement about thinking about having sex with my mother and sisters; I’m not physically attracted to my mom and the thought of having sex with her is cringe. I also factor in the fact that her as an authoritarian figure is quite the turnoff as well, but honestly if my mom was Megan Fox or Beyonce and I think the way I do now, I have no idea how I’d feel. As far as my sisters, I wouldn’t now but when they were teens and mid 20’s I would definitely go through with it if given the opportunity.

I find it hard to believe but people can suppress their natural instincts which is no way to live. When it comes to fantasy at least there should be no limits, as much as I think that someone should be the kind of person who would never want to hurt others or de-value their happiness which would rule out certain interests/fantasies. If there's any truth to the Westermark Effect, I don't see how it would apply to a parent's feelings toward their child.

I tend to find other people boring, not because they lack charisma or because of their personalities or their not being wild extroverts, they would probably find me boring in that regard, but because of their values. The value of life lies in having fun (although 'fun' has very specific connotations and I mean happiness in general) and serve the happiness of others but they have so many different arbitrary rules around when or whose happiness matters or when it can be justifiably pursued, above and beyond not wanting to cause pain to others or deprive them of happiness. I can't stand living in a world where it's taboo even just to want harmless mutually pleasurable sex with 'off-limits' people, however unrealistic people think it being ultimately harmless would be.

Yes they suppress everything. Shame, guilt and embarrassment will keep people from doing and saying a lot of things. I look at being a MAP the same way I look at snacks. I could eat a whole box of fruit gushers as a kid. I’m older now, but does that mean I don’t like fruit gushers anymore? Is it possible not to like fruit gushers anymore? Yes, very possible. But it is likely? No. I know for a fact that older women like teenage boys. They use being a woman to their advantage to flirt, get it out their system, and then get away with what they just did. They were once kids that looked at the older teenage boy with love and lust. How does that just go away? By shame, guilt and embarrassment. If more women had the guts to come forward, the world would be a better place.

I understand what you mean by calling people boring so deeply. When I talk to people I feel like I can never get the full truth out of them, no matter the topic. We have so many internal secrets. I have so many questions about things. Like why would my friend be mad I’m dating and having sex with his sister? I think it's jealousy. But I don’t wanna branch off topic too far.

I didn't understand what you meant when you said that they start to look at their dads differently (or your last sentence, in the last paragraph). I would imagine that most teenage girls are not attracted to their fathers and would find the idea of sex with them horrifying, which is a big part of why I think it's generally better for a father to keep his attraction to his daughter to himself and just focus on the fantasy.

To better put it, I think daughters grow up attracted to their dads. They don’t have a concept of sex or sexually attraction yet. When they start to understand sex and attraction they try to find that same affection in someone other than their dads because they understand that their dad’s don’t see them in that same light. So they look for boys who treat them how their dad would. I could be completely wrong but these are just my thoughts. Same could be possible for boys.

Overall, other than the social hate a parent or sibling would receive from the world for having sex with a family member, I think most people aren’t sure what would happen afterwards. What are the convos between you and your daughter after sex? What would siblings do after sex? The small things become large, especially in today's society.

Now that I think about it, there are a few tv shows/movies/books I've watched or read that immediately come to mind where there was an implicit suggestion that a man was interested in a woman because she reminded him of his mother (e.g. Harry Potter's mother was a redhead, I think this was revealed in the last book or toward the end of the series, like Ginny Weasley; I can't prove that there's meaning in that but I made the association, or in Terminator 3 when John Connor tells his future wife that she reminds him of his mother, after seeing her shoot one of the machines) but I saw that as more sentimental than sexual. I have a hard time believing that most women are attracted to their fathers but I could be wrong. I also vaguely remember a sample of Ice-T's book where he said that one of his first memories was looking at his mother and thinking, "damn, she's fine," or something like that and I once came across someone, at least one person, online who said that he liked light-skinned women because his mother was light-skinned.

I also find it hard to believe that people would lose their attraction to a particular category of people with age. I'm not interested in the activities that excited me when I was 6 (I still like middle-grade fiction, and Archie comics even though I haven't read one in a while) but I'm cognitively more developed now. I can't see how that would apply to sexual attraction, and people claim they can no longer relate to younger people but I don't see why a maturity gap (which I think is overstated, on average, if we're comparing middle-aged people to twenty-something-year olds or even older teens at least. I don't feel like a different person than when I was in my twenties, or even teens in some ways) would make affection impossible (or what 'romantic love' is beyond affection + sexual attraction, and I'd throw in obsession if we're just talking about infatuation). There's a much bigger mental gap between adults and cats or dogs than between older adults and younger adults, or adolescents, or even children and no one seems to think that you can't love a dog because it's harder to relate to them, being so cognitively different.

Fantasy isn't enough to completely curb frustration but as a source of happiness, what would be 'enough?' The difference between fantasy and real life, in that regard, is a difference in degree (one would be more pleasurable than the other, the fantasy is just a simulation of what the real thing would be). A sweet dream is the only hope that most people have for their most unrealistic desires being satisfied completely but the problem, at least for me, is that my dreams never go as I'd want them to exactly, on the extremely rare occasions I might have a sex dream the sensory perception might be off (my best dreams, although these are still very rare, involve falling in love with a girl or the anticipation of s.x and there have been times I woke up with euphoria and intense affection for that girl left over from the dream. Even in my dreams, I have erectile dysfunction though) on top of most dreams being vaguely remembered which gives the impression that they're not really 'real.' I've been having these semi-lucid dreams lately, once in while, where part of my vision will be black or it will take place in my mind's eye instead of being true sensory perception etc. (in my normal dreams, I'm capable of imagining things in my mind's eye that are totally separate from the dream world that I perceive as external to me through my senses), I think being lucid causes that (I started having a lot of lucid dreams after I had what was possibly my first true one and I would always wake up soon after becoming lucid and now there will be that sensory vagueness, and I can never control them at all. Lately, my strategy has been to pretend that I'm not aware I'm dreaming but I don't think I'm entirely lucid to begin with. Someone once said that your brain doesn't want you to become lucid when dreaming and to me it seems as if that's true). The truth is, I'm not compatible with most women in terms of values, preferences, personality, etc. so the romance that I'd fantasize about couldn't exist in any real-life scenario (and even in fantasy, it wouldn't necessarily be a life-long commitment). I couldn't do either in real life but in a completely different life that still involved the real world I don't think anything other than emotionally intimate casual sex (with a one-night stand or sex friend, even in a fantasy world my ideal would be casual sex with friends. I guess the 'romance' I have in mind is infatuation where I'd temporarily focus on one woman, I don't want to work this out. I am repelled by the idea of playing the 'masculine' role in what might be considered a proper romantic relationship, or what most women would be interested in) could be an option for me, with my personality.

Personally, I would want to cuddle or make out afterward (I have this habit of trying to avoid my penis being stimulated after I orgasm because I need to recover and I'm paranoid about avoiding over-masturbation because of how it affects me so I'd probably pull out immediately after and carefully wrap it away, most people would probably find that strange). Sex without kissing wouldn't be worth it for me, so I wouldn't sleep with a girl/woman who wasn't into making out, although it would be perfectly fine for her to have her preferences.