Olivia2012 wrote: Wed Mar 19, 2025 8:17 pm
Every other one I've met is just a victim of CSA who thinks the way they do as a trauma response.
I thought this deserved a proper reply.
In our current society, AMSC (Adult-Minor Sexual Contact) is simply unthinkable for the majority of the population. Even those who might have such thoughts as part of their overall sexuality will ignore or repress them unless their preference is overwhelming... and as you rightly pointed out, true preferential AAMs, like exclusive or near-exclusive MAPs, are few in numbers. It is an unfortunate reality that AMSC is currently linked to CSA due to the self-perpetuating system (self-fulfilling prophecy made real) of blanket prohibition, which leaves no other choices to exclusive MAPs but lifelong abstinence or offending, and doesn't address the necessity of teaching children to say "yes" and "no" within a comprehensive sex & relationship education.
With CSA victims, we find another phenomenon entirely: the fact of AMSC has been
forced upon them. This means that their sexual thoughts will often be altered towards adults. That said, I believe—although it is a mere hunch, not a belief inferred from scientific evidence—that many AAM victims of CSA would greatly benefit from a loving intimate relationship with an adult skilled at listening and respecting their boundaries. This might be what they're unconsciously looking for. The sad fact is that they tend to end up in abusive relationships with men (or women) that display personal traits similar to their abuser's. Whether they want it or not, they're likely to associate the idea of adults desiring them sexually with the patterns of sexual abuse, even though most MAPs aren't abusers.
Ultimately, I think there could be a better middle ground between the current repressive laws and the recent past where CSA was ubiquitous: children should gradually be made aware of sexual matters from an early age (starting as soon as they can understand abstract concepts and emotions), but sexual activity should never be pushed upon them. From age 12, they should have the right to initiate sexual activity, including with an adult outside of their family, but adults wouldn't be allowed to
make the first move on anyone under 16. Adults would, however, be allowed to self-identify as MAPs openly. That's the current immediate reform proposal I have in mind. In an ideal world, more flexibility would be preferable than strict age thresholds, given how people mature at (sometimes very) different rates, but I'd say that would be for a later stage.
If society is to change so as to view consensual AMSC as an ordinary and harmless part of life, what must first happen is for positive instances of such relationships to exist on a sufficiently large scale. Thus, the law must change just enough to allow a large number of MAAs and AAMs to find and love each other (for instance through a dedicated dating website).